PotentialSpouse
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Why we built this

For the quietly serious.

Public dating profiles work fine — until your aunt, your coworker, your imam or pastor, or the kid you mentor sees you swiping. For a lot of people, especially in close-knit communities, professional circles, and diaspora networks, that risk is enough to keep them off the apps entirely.

We built PotentialSpouse for them. A codename you choose. A different alias for every connection. No photos, no screenshots anyone can pass around a group chat. You decide what to share, in what order, with whom. The privacy isn't a feature; it's the contract.

The side-effect is who shows up. Anonymity is uninteresting to people looking for a hookup — they need to be seen. It's interesting to people who want a partner badly enough to be patient about it.

How we match

Three rules of the match.

  1. 01

    Mutual fit, or no match

    We never surface someone you wouldn't be surfaced to. Every criterion you set has a mirror you must satisfy too — and the candidate set is computed from people who fit you and for whom you fit, simultaneously.

    Most apps optimize for who'd swipe back. We optimize for who would actually be a match if both sides knew the criteria. There is no inbox of people who liked you. There is no "they might like you anyway." If you wouldn't appear to them, they don't appear to you.

  2. 02

    Your criteria, exactly

    Tell us what you're looking for in your own words — #engineer, #westlands, language, life stage, faith. We match against what you said. There is no opaque compatibility score doing its own thing in the background.

    Add specificity until you see a number you trust; widen until the pool is the size you want. Precision means fewer, more aligned matches; breadth means a larger pool. Both are valid — and you can read the matching SQL if you want to see exactly how it works.

  3. 03

    An introduction, not an opener

    When someone wants to meet you, they don't message — they answer the three questions you wrote. You answer theirs back. Both arrive at the same time, both read independently, both decide independently whether to proceed.

    It's the structure a good matchmaker uses: a pre-arranged exchange, in writing, that gives both sides a real read before anyone has to commit to a conversation. Either person can walk away with no hard feelings — because no one has spoken yet.

How it works

Six steps. We do the matching.

  1. 01 / SIGN IN

    Sign in with Google

    We compute a one-way hash of your Google ID and discard everything else immediately. We never see your email, name, or avatar.

  2. 02 / IDENTITY

    Receive a codename

    Three random English words — coral-bridge-falcon. The only identity anyone ever sees. Editable once within 30 days, then permanent.

  3. 03 / PROFILE

    Tell us what you're looking for

    Side-by-side: what you are, and what you want in a partner. As broad or as specific as you like. Skip what you don't care about — empty means "any". This is what we match against.

  4. 04 / QUESTIONS

    Write the three questions

    Anyone who wants to meet you must answer all three. Choose questions that reveal what matters most to you — they're how we filter strangers down to people who took the time to answer thoughtfully.

  5. 05 / CONNECT

    Connect by answering theirs

    Tap Connect, answer their three. Your answers stay sealed until they answer yours. Both arrive at the same time — both decide independently whether to proceed.

  6. 06 / DECIDE

    Open the chat — together

    Both accept, the chat opens with the Q&A pinned at the top. Either rejects, the connection closes silently — no notification, no awkwardness.

Privacy posture

What we don't keep.

A database breach paired with this source code is not enough to identify a single one of our users.

  • No email — ever stored, ever sent.
  • Password optional — bcrypt-hashed if used, never plaintext.
  • No photos. The Q&A is the photo.
  • No real name, address, or phone number.
  • An HMAC of your Google ID — the secret lives off-server.
  • Self-hosted fonts. No third-party trackers, anywhere.
  • Block list is bidirectional and immediate.
  • Delete your account and you're gone — your messages stay with the partners you chose.
  • Inactive accounts hard-deleted after 90 days — we don't keep ghost data on people who walked away.

Category

A matchmaker, not a dating app.

We curate. You don't browse. The match happens before anyone lands on your wall — and the chat is the result of a successful match, not the starting point.

Not a swipe app. There is no infinite scroll, no streaks, no daily quota of strangers.

Not a black-box compatibility score. Our matching is algorithmic and transparent — the SQL is plain English you can read.

Not a social network. No followers, no likes, no public profiles.

Not free because you are the product. There is no product to extract from you — we don't have your data to sell.

Not built for hookups. Build something else for that.